Plans & More Plans

Plans & More Plans

Earlier this week I had decided to go home Friday and take Mom with me. Mr. H and the girls are coming and we'd all go home together. But I haven't heard anything from Mom's physical therapist. Mr. H had a suggestion that maybe M &L could stay up here with me for another week then we could come home. I wouldn't mind them being here. I haven't seen M or the eldest in almost 2 weeks.

I know that sometime I need to get back into my office and catch up on some things. KK is taking care of some things on an emergency basis, but the longer I'm gone, the more there is that someone else has to do and I have to catch up. I'm so thankful for the place I work and worship.

Wow! It's coming down a gully washer outside right now. That's what my Grandma Louise used to say. It hadn't rained at my house for several weeks before I left. M told me there was a thunderstorm there earlier this week. This is the first time I've seen rain since I've been at Mom's. It's coming down loud and hard. I'm glad I went to the store earlier today. I'd be soaked if I went out now. Mom's cat, Mr. Otis, is roaming around moaning. It is the strangest sound. He likes to make that noise at 3 a.m., too. Right now, he has climbed up on the little table by the front window and used a paw to part the blinds so he can look out at the rain in the front yard. We can call him Gladys Kravitz.

I feel so much better about things today. Yesterday was tough. Mom was still dehydrated when we got to the doctor's office. They decided to give her the steroid she usually takes in pill form by IV that day to get her fluids up. They took her to what is called the infusion room. That place sort of creeped me out at first. It's a room full of recliners and IV poles. When we got there, about 6 people were hooked up, some reading, some napping, some watching TV, all receiving some sort of IV treatment. Then the nurses started looking at Mom's arms. While she was in the hospital, she had about 5 or 6 different IV sites. Then there was the unsuccessful blood drawing attempt at her dr.'s office on Monday, followed by a trip to the outpatient department at the hospital, where they were successful. The nurses in the infusion room do IV's ALL day long. They are truly the trained professionals. It took 2 of them about 15 minutes before they found a vein they could use. I was in tears. I didn't want to leave her, but when they told me it would take about 3 1/2 hours to finish, I knew I needed to go get some lunch.

Everything hit me hard about that time. I sat in Quiznos and cried on the phone to a dear lady who just listened. I hadn't planned on telling her too much; I was calling to pass on info about L and camp, but it all came pouring out. That Quiznos is close to St. Dominic's and UMC. They probably are used to crying folks.

Before we left the doctor's office, I was armed with information about how to give Mom her medicine the most efficient way, and today, the home health care nurse had some good suggestions, too. I'm armed with information and a plan. Let's roll.

Health & Youth

Health and youth are relative things. I'm 48 years old. That's older than I've ever been (really!?) and I older than I ever thought about when I was younger. I see 48 in a different light now than I did 20 years ago. The age thing hit me this afternoon. I was walking out the door of Mom's doctor's office to go get the truck and bring it up close to get her. As I was about to step off the curb toward the parking lot, I noticed 2 older ladies, probably in their 70's, trying to get another lady of about the same age out of a van and into a wheel chair. Having done just the same thing myself a few hours earlier and planning to do just the reverse in a minute or two, I slowed down. These ladies looked unsure of how to go about the process. I asked if they needed a hand, and one replied, "I don't know." I took that as a "Please." I put my stuff down and held my hand out. This is the part that I found very interesting: of the three hands offering assistance to this lady, the one she grabbed was mine a stranger's hand. I have to believe that though she was grateful to her friends for their help, she thought the younger, stronger hand might be of more assistance. It certainly wasn't that my towering strength was so obvious. At 5 feet even, I don't tower over much of the population older than 7. The only thing in my favor here was youth.

Once she was in the wheelchair, all the ladies thanked me and went inside to consult their doctor. I picked up my stuff and started walking across the parking lot. Suddenly, my heart broke and I was in tears. I realized how effortless walking is to me. I don't think about it. I jump in and climb out of cars and trucks and vans without a moment's thought. I do it without the aid of a cane, walker or wheelchair. I don't think I've ever considered what a blessing that is... what a gift good health is... even relative good health.

My mom has had lupus for a long time, but until a few months ago, she was relatively healthy. She could eat what she wanted, when she wanted it. She could get up from a chair or the bed without assistance. Today, everything seems to make her sick and I have to help her up from her chair and her bed. She uses a walker to move around her house and it's wider than her bathroom door, so that presents a problem.

There are so many things that we take for granted every day. I'm thankful that I took time today to look at those things and understand Who gave them to me This Day and Every Day that I have them.

The Blessing

If I could give a blessing to the world, I would bless them with a family like mine. Without them I would be . . . well, I can't even imagine where I'd be. My husband loves me enough to let me be away when I need to be away. He understands how much my mother needs me right now and isn't jealous of the time I have to be with her. I know he misses me and wishes I didn't have to be away, but he doesn't complain and he encourages me to do what needs to be done. He is the best gift God has given to me apart from His Son. If every woman could place her trust in her husband, depend on his strength, be loved by him the way my beloved loves me. . .what a difference so many marriages would see.

And my children: My eldest has taken responsibility for making sure the younger ones are where they need to be, that they have what they need for what's going on at the moment. So many young adults are so focused on themselves that they don't see any needs at all around them. I have always been able to trust her to do the right thing.

M is in a hard place. During the day, she has seniority, but in the evening, she gets placed in the "children" catagory. Being 13 is one of the hardest things there is. Yet I know that she is a steady influence in the lives of some other 13 year olds who don't have much that is steady in their lives. She is faced with so many choices at this age, but I trust her to make the right choice.

And L . . . She could have pitched a fit about my missing her "big thing." Instead, she tried to make me feel better about it. She didn't want me to feel bad, so she found a "next best thing" for me to look for. She wanted to protect me from the disappointment I felt.

There is no PERFECT family. Families are made up of human beings who, from birth, are imperfect. Yet if we make the CHOICE to BE a family, to put the family before ourselves, to love each other - no matter how much we irritate or disappoint - then we can face the challenges the world throws at us. We can do what needs to be done without worrying about things falling apart, because we know that our FAMILY is there with us, cheering us on, wanting what is best for us, even if there is a price they may have to pay. That is what real families are all about.

Looking Up and Other Things

Things are looking up for my mom. She's getting better every day.The doctor said so. Here's how I know: She got on the phone today to the guy that's been cutting her hair for over 30 years. She asked him to come to the hospital to cut her hair. And he said he'd try!

She'll probably be here at least the rest of the week. But the doctor seems to think she'll be at least as fine as she has been up until recently. If she's still in the hospital over the weekend, I'll try to go home and come back when she gets out. I know she'll need a bit of help for a little while when she's home.

My mom has always had problems finding veins in her arms. She tried to give blood once and they couldn't get any out. They have had to re-do her IV's everyday. Her poor little arms are various shades of blue, black and green, speckled with little red dots. Because she's been on a blood thinner to prevent possible clots, her skin is very fragile. When they took some tape off this morning, she started bleeding. I got some baby lotion to rub on her. The hospital lotion smelled really good, but I was afraid it would sting. Today, the doctor decided to put in a PICC line. It's a Peripherally Inserted Central Catheter. It goes in at the bend in your arm and the tip ends up close to your heart. It can be used for delivering drugs and drawing blood and can stay in place for up to 6 months.

Dinner was just delivered. Tonight was pasta chicken salad. This has got to be the biggest plate of food I have ever seen on a tray! Honestly, there was enough food in just the salad to feed a family of 4! And that was just the entree'. Rutabaga (she ate all of it *yuck*), soup, au gratin potatoes, cobbler, roll and crackers with butter. What a spread!

Arrgggg! ye Mateys!

My eldest took care of L's hair for the "Pirates of the 'I Don't Care'-ibbean" musical Sunday night.

Sr. Mrs. H called me today and told me how into character L was that night. She was a pirate called Josie Batista.

The vest she is wearing was a Halloween costume M asked me to make a couple of years ago. She and her best friend picked out the material. She described it to me and sent me to Hobby Lobby to get it. IT WAS $19/YARD!!!! Well, at least we're getting our money's worth. I think the blouse belonged to one of my grandmothers. It has been in the girls' dress-up bag for years.



The large group picture is taken on the stage where we have music for VBS. The tropical VBS theme worked really well with the musical setting.

Information Is a Wonderful Thing

I hate being uninformed. Lack of understanding terrifies me.

And now I feel much better...because I have information and a basic understanding of my mom's medical condition. I can see the tunnel now and there is a light at the end of it. Earlier this week I was in the dark. I couldn't tell where the tunnel was, much less glimpse the light.

My mom has lupus and has had it for many years. I'm a bit familiar with the visible effects it has on her, but no idea of the causes or internal effects. I learned something today: if you have lupus and don't take your steroids, you could die. Your body will attack itself and your blood cells will dissolve and your muscles (think "heart") will quit working. Mom didn't feel well enough to go to the doctor so the doctor couldn't renew the Rx she needed. Steroids require close supervision: no doctor visit=no refill. We think she's been several months without the steroids, so it's been a downhill spiral. Now I know what we have to do. We have to keep up with doctor schedules.

I love understanding a situation. With understanding, you know why things have to be done a certain way. It's easier to remember to do something if you know why it has to be done.

Things I've Noticed

1. time seems to stand still while you're in a hospital: What day is it? Is it day or night?

2. every empty hospital room is an answered prayer for someone...one day we won't need hospitals because we will have been Wonderously Healed by the Great Physician.

3. When you go from a clear liquid diet to just a liquid diet, they include butter on your tray. I'm not sure if it goes in the soup or in the sherbet or maybe in the tea... (L would just eat it with her finger!)

4. A familiar face from home is a wonderful thing. Thanks, Ronnie, I loved the song about the big top tent.

5. Hospital gowns come in one size: 1 size fits none.

6. Daughters who are willing to fill in for a missing mom are a blessing...as are friends who are willing to step into unfamiliar shoes. Thanks Andra and Kelsey.

7. I almost forgot: NURSES ARE BLESSINGS FROM THE LORD! thanks to Renee', Deanna, Pat, Ashley and all the ones whose names I don't know.